PICTURES OF YOU

House. A teen looking thru a box of old pictures. Mom hoovering.

MOM: Don't steal any of those.

TEEN: Steal? Why would I steal pictures of myself? I could sell them on Ebay. Bet I could make a killing, people are always looking for 10 year old Polaroids of complete strangers. I'm not going steal any of them, alright? I told you, I just need a couple for a school project.

MOM: Well don't take any of them permanently.

TEEN: Like stealing them, I got it.

MOM: Some of them are very dear to me.

TEEN: What is this?

MOM: What?

TEEN: This! My head is missing! Did you cut my head out of a family picture?

MOM: Of course not.

TEEN: There's more! There's at least 10 pictures in here with either my head or my whole body cut out.

MOM: I don't know how that could be. Maybe I did it for a scrapbook awhile back.

TEEN: Why just me?

MOM: Honestly, I don't recall.

TEEN: You literally cut me out of the family!

MOM: Okay. Yes. I did.

TEEN: Why?

MOM: Because I was angry with you.

TEEN: So you cut me out of the family pictures.

MOM: What would you rather I do? Ground you? Hit you?

TEEN: What did I do?

MOM: I don't remember. It was years ago.

TEEN: I can't believe you'd do that. I'm like six years old in this picture.

MOM: Well we were both very upset, your father and I. He took you out of the will.

TEEN: I did something so terrible that Dad took me out of the will and you cut me out of the family pictures, but you can't remember what it was?

MOM: They say 'forgive and forget' and that's what we did. Once we calmed down, your father put you back in the will. And I would have repaired the pictures also had I not burnt the removed portions in an old soup can.

TEEN: You did that?

MOM: Well of course I feel awful about it now.

JACK & DIANE

Drive-in. Backseat of a red convertible.

JACK: What are you thinking about?

DIANE: I'm not thinking about anything. I'm trying to watch the movie Jackie.

JACK: Don't call me Jackie. My mom calls me Jackie.

DIANE: So?

JACK: So you're my girlfriend, not my mom. Let's not try to blur the lines. You each have your roles.

DIANE: I have rolls? Are you calling me fat?

JACK: No. Stop it. I just don't want you to be like my mom.

DIANE: You don't like your mom?! Is it because she has rolls?

JACK: I'm about ready to punch you in the face.

DIANE: Do it.

JACK: I love my mom.

DIANE: Good, 'cause I couldn't be with anyone who didn't love their mom. Sigmund Freud says men eventually marry woman that remind them of their moms.

JACK: You're grossing me out.

DIANE: The thought of marrying me grosses you out?

JACK: That's not what I'm saying.

DIANE: Alright.

JACK: You're mad.

DIANE: No, I'm trying to watch the movie.

JACK: Are you sure?

DIANE: You know, I'm not sure. I suppose it is possible I am the only teenage girl in the world who doesn't know when she's angry. Let me get in touch with my emotions and I'll get back with you.

JACK: Are you trying to piss me off?

DIANE: I was going for 'turn you off', but yeah I am a little.

JACK: Why?

DIANE: Because you asked me what I was thinking, which is to say 'I hope you're thinking what I'm thinking', and I know what your thinking, and I'm not thinking that. You're a seventeen year old boy-- everyone knows what you're thinking. You're thinking let's run off behind a shady tree, get me out of these Bobby Brooks, and have your way with me.

JACK: (pause) No I wasn't.

***Scene inspired (obviously) by John Mellencamp's Jack and Diane