WOMAN: You go first.
WOMAN: Pain? That’s not specific enough. Physical pain?
MAN: No just pain. All pain. Not a big fan.
WOMAN: That's too general. Pain is just a part of living.
MAN: So what your saying is, I should have said, 'I’m afraid of living'; it just sounds more suicidal sounding than I was going for. What’s your fear?
WOMAN: Spiders.
MAN: Well if we're splitting hairs; that's a phobia not a fear. There's a difference. You're not scared of spiders-- just the poisonous ones or the ones with huge fangs. But you've not taken the time figure out which ones those are so you just fear them all: The irrational nature of a phobia. Because what you're really afraid of is being bite by one of those deadly spiders-- the pain of it. That's why you fear spiders.
WOMAN: And they’re gross looking.
MAN: So you're afraid of pain and ugliness. You ever been bite by a spider?
She shrugs.
MAN: You probably have just not by any of the big fanged poisonous ones. Likely in your sleep, it was just so uneventful you didn't even notice.
WOMAN: So it's irrational. I get it. So what? Everyone's afraid of pain.
MAN: But no ones says that. They say needles, or heights, or commitment; but its none of those things really. It's the fear of the pain that comes from the needles, or the fear of falling from those heights, or the fear of getting your heart broken when you really commit to a relationship.
WOMAN: You can’t avoid pain.
MAN: No-- not altogether, but you can certainly steer clear of the pains you’ve already experienced. Once bitten, twice shy.
WOMAN: Yeah 'shy' not 'avoiding'. You'd be letting the fear of pain cut you out from experiencing life. You can't overcome something if you refuse to face it.
MAN: Why put your hand back on the stove only to get burned again?
She takes his hand.
WOMAN: Because most of the time-- the stove is not on.
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